stayed home from Church with a sitter. When his family returned
home they were carrying several Palm Branches. Billy asked what
they were for? His parents replied “People held them over Jesus’
head as He walked by.” “Wouldn’t you know it,” Billy fumed, “The
one Sunday I don’t go to Church, HE showed up!”
Sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg.
He pointed at the egg and asked the children, “What’s in here?”
I know a little boy exclaimed, “Pantyhose!”
asked his Grandma how old she was. Grandma
answered, “39 and holding.” Johnny thought for a moment, and
then said, “And how old would you be if you let go?”
A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was going down the
aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While
facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.
So it went, step ROAR step, ROAR, step,, ROAR, all the way down
the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from
laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was
being the Ring Bear.”
One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was “acting up” during
the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain
some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally,
the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle
on his way out.
Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called
loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”
One particular four-year old prayed, “And forgive us our trash
baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”
A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’ t make me a
better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”
A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on
the way to , “And why is it necessary to be quiet in
One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination,
looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something
fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It
was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between
the pages.”Mama, look what I found,” the boy called out.
“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked. With
astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, “It’s
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he
preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike
cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in
the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several
circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her
mother and whispered, “If he gets loose, will he hurt us?”
Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting
together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out
loud in church.”
“Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two
men standing by the door? They’re hushers.”
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do
you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo,
while I asked, “No, how are we alike?” “You’re both old,” he replied.
A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was
becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then, one day,
she floored her grandmother by asking, “Which Virgin was the
mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?”
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if
anyone could tell her what it was.
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, “Thou shall not
take the covers off the neighbor’s wife.”