Squirrels in Church

Three churches in town were overrun with squirrels.

After much prayer, the elders of the first church determined that the animals were predestined to be there. Who were they to interfere with God’s will?  They did nothing, and the squirrels multiplied.

The elders of the second church, deciding that they should not harm any of God’s creatures, humanely trapped the squirrels and then set them free outside of town.  Three days later the squirrels were back.

The third church succeeded in solving the squirrel problem. The elders simply baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.  Now they only see the squirrels on Christmas and Easter.

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the Best Gifts of the Season

THE BEST GIFTS THIS SEASON:

 

To a Friend – Loyalty

To an Enemy – Forgiveness

To your Boss – Service

To your Child – A good example

To your Father – Honor

To your Mother – Gratitude and Devotion

To your Spouse – Love and Faithfulness

To Yourself – Respect

To All Men – Charity

To God – Your Life!!

 

— Author Unknown

 

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Spirituality Debate…

I want to say something about the spirituality debate. You don’t believe in God? That’s ok, but why is it so important for many of you to mock those of us that do? If we’re wrong, what have we lost when we die? Nothing! How does our faith in Jesus Christ bring you any harm? You think it makes me stupid? Gullible? Ignorant? That’s ok too. How does that affect you? If you’re wrong your consequence is far worse. I would rather live my life believing in God and serving Him, and find out I was right, than not believe in Him and not serve Him, and find out I was wrong. Then it’s too late.
Ain’t no shame in my game! I believe in Jesus Christ. He said deny me in front of your friends & I will deny you in front of my Father.
WordPress Challenge:
If you’re not ashamed copy & paste it! God is Good!!!!!!
I’m willing to do this…how about you?

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Twas’ the night…..

TWAS THE NIGHT JESUS CAME

Twas’ the night Jesus came and all through the house,

Not a person was praying, not one in the house.

The Bible was left on the shelf without care,

for no one thought Jesus would come there.

The children were dressing to crawl into bed,

not once ever kneeling or bowing their head.

And Mom in the rocking chair with baby on her lap,

was watching the Late Show as I took a nap.

When out of the east there rose such a clatter,

I sprang to my feet to see what’s the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

tore open the shutters and lifted the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

but Angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.

The light of His face made me cover my head,

it was Jesus returning just like He’d said.

And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth,

I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.

In the Book of Life that in which he held in his hand,

was written the name of every saved man.

He spoke not a word as he searched for my name,

when He said “it is not here”

I hung my head in shame. The people who’s names had been written with love,

He gathered to take to his Father above.

With those who were ready He rose without a sound,

while all the others were left standing around.

I fell to my knees but it was too late,

I waited too long and thus sealed my fate.

I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight,

Oh, if only I’d know that this was the night.

In the words of this poem the meaning is clear

the coming of Jesus is now drawing near.

There’s only one life and when comes the last call,

We’ll find out that the Bible was true after all……..

— Author Unknown

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Christmas Peace

QUIET MY HEART, LORD

Quiet my heart, Lord,

and show me a Christmas

as peaceful and calm as

an old cattle shed…

Slow down my pace, Lord,

and help me seek Jesus,

the Son of Your Love,

in a humble straw bed…

Steady my spirit, Lord,

call me from chaos

in simple surrender

to pray and rejoice…

Breakthrough the busy,

too-bright celebration,

and whisper your message,

“Be still…hear my voice…”

Be still, and know that I am God…”

Psalm 46:10

— Author Unknown

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what do you want for Christmas

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?

A poem sent to Dear Abby from a couple who have too much stuff.

So many of you asked us (since Yuletide’s drawing near)

“What do you want for Christmas? What can we give you this year?

If we say, “We want nothing!” you buy something anyway,

So here’s a list of what we’d like; believe now what we say:

Pajamas for a little child, food to feed the poor.

Blankets for a shelter, and we ask a little bit more–

Perform good deeds and let us know, or volunteer your time.

These last are worth a fortune, and they needn’t cost a dime.

We have to many things now, vases, candles, tapes and clocks.

We have our fill of garments, ties, underwear and socks.

Candy is too fattening, crossword books we’ve more than 20.

We don’t need trays or plates or cups, and knickknacks we have plenty.

We’ve no walls to hang more pictures; we have books we’ve not yet read;

So please take what you’d spend on us and help the poor instead!

Just send a Christmas card to us and tell us what you’ve done;

We’ll open them on Christmas Eve, and read them one by one.

It won’t cost as much for postage as a package sent would do,

You’ll need no wrapping paper, ribbons, ink or glue.

And we’ll thank God you listened to what we had to say,

So we could be the instruments to help someone this way.

— Author Unknown

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Christmas’ begining

WHO STARTED CHRISTMAS?

This morning I heard a story on the radio of a woman who was out Christmas shopping with her two children. After many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable. And after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids.

She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of the year. Overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming,  taste all the holiday food and treats, getting that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, making sure we don’t forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.

Finally the elevator doors opened and there was already a crowd in the car. She pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids in with her and all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed she couldn’t take it anymore and  stated, “Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot.”

From the back of the car everyone heard a quiet calm voice respond, “Don’t worry we already crucified him.” For the rest of the trip down the elevator it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

Don’t forget this year to keep the One who started this whole Christmas thing in your every thought, deed, purchase, and word. If we all did it, just think of how different this whole world would be.

— Author Unknown

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the Christmas Ten Commandments

THE CHRISTMAS TEN COMMANDMENTS

 

  1. Thou shalt give thy heart to Christ. Let Him be at the top of thy Christmas list

 

  1. Thou shalt prepare thy soul for Christmas. Spend not so much on gifts that thy soul is forgotten.

 

  1. Thou shalt not let Santa Claus replace Christ, thus robbing the day of its spiritual reality.

 

  1. Thou shalt not burden the shop girl, the mailman, and the merchant with complaints and demands.

 

  1. Thou shalt give thyself with thy gift. This will increase its value a hundred fold, and he who receiveth it shall treasure it forever.

 

  1. Thou shalt not value gifts received by their cost. Even the least expensive may signify love, and that is more priceless than silver and gold.

 

  1. Thou shalt not neglect the needy. Share thy blessings with many who will go hungry and cold unless thou are generous.

 

  1. Thou shalt not neglect thy church. Its services highlight the true meaning of the season.

 

  1. Thou shalt be as a little child. Not until thou has become in spirit as a little one art thou ready to enter into the kingdom of Heaven.

 

  1. Thou shall not forget to share your joy, peace and faith with those around you.

 

— Author Unknown

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google translate

just added google translate with over a 100 languages to this site

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thanksgiving weather

THANKSGIVING WEATHER

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 165F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

today’sTHOT==============================

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!

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